Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Our Deepest Fear Is Not That We Are Inadequate, Our Deepest Fear Is We Are Powerful Beyond Measure.....

So these last few days my companion has been sick with a cold.  Also he has been slowly kinda working in lessons.  So yesterday I started out before we left for church with 4 different prayers before we left.  As we were at church we had preisthood where jokes were going around and for some reason my companion was making me angry.  I kept thinking of a lot of things to be mad at him. As we continued on in class I realized I wasn't going to have the spirit and help teach our investigators if I kept up the attitude.  As I sat in class wondering what to do, I said a prayer.  I asked for help and a reason why I was mad.  As I opened my eyes beginning to listen closely my answer came from a member.  We were talking about marriage and a brother who was an RM was talking about how missions prepare people for marriage.  As he was talking he said Missionaries learn how to let little things go that others may find annoying.  There and then I could feel and see my answer given to me.  Through this I was able to change my attitude and keep myself worthy to have a strong spirit.  Later in the day it was good, but we had no lessons and we didn't know where to go.  I told my companion to say a prayer in the open on the side of the street to guide us where to go.  Right after the prayer my companion said to go to a investigator we dropped, but what I felt was to go to a less active family.  This family has pretty much no desire for anything.  So as we headed over I really didn't want to go and in my head I just kept questioning why.  Finally I got the feeling to ask them if they needed help.  So when we got there we started with a prayer, talked a little, then I began to ask questions.  I didn't fully understand at that time but they needed no help I felt to end with no lesson and a prayer.  So I did and my companion said nothing but gave me a look like I was crazy.  So we ended and left.  I told him I was following the spirit and I didn't know why, but I felt like we needed to leave at that time even though it was a weird time to leave.  So my companion and I returned to our apartment, sat down and he told me this "Elder, I can teach you how to teach, I can teach you what to teach and how to begin a lesson an things like that, but through the spirit you learn how to follow the spirit".  I realized this was really the first time I closely listened and followed the spirit.  Even though nothing added up I realized my faith in the spirit is where it should always be.  Sometimes the spirit direct us in ways we may not know.  We must have faith to follow it and do what we feel.  The spirit not only can teach others, but those who desire to follow it also.  I asked you to title this with "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is we are powerful beyond measure" because through the spirit we may be led to do things we question, but we must trust that what we are following the way the Lord wants us to.  So thats what I learned yesterday.

Well I got to go, love and miss you all - Elder Sarmiento

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